As a counselor, a common complaint I hear from Christian married couples is unsatisfactory sexuality. What makes great Christian sex? Here are 5 essential ingredients for not just healthy sex, but great Christian sex!
1. Naked and Not Ashamed
Genesis 2:25 gives the building blocks to a solid foundation of a healthy marriage and sexuality: Intimacy. Dictionary.com defines shame as “the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, and ridiculous.” Adam and Eve had just met, and yet they felt “naked and not ashamed.” There was an emotional, physical, and spiritual safety. Great sex is a by product of such intimacy between two people.
2. Fly Solo with your Spouse
The sweetest sex occurs by taking the time to nurture the relationship with one person over time. Some say staying married to the same person is boring. Quite the contrary! It becomes an adventure to walk the twists and turns with your mate on this journey called life. We get to rediscover our spouse a new over time with the added benefit of knowing them from the past.
3. Have it!
In the busyness of life, it is amazing how easy sex is neglected in married couples. This can happen in all phases of marriage: newlywed, small children, adolescent children and empty nest. Somehow we think great sex comes when everything has to be perfect: the lighting, the place, the music. These are the icing, but sometimes you just have the cake, which can be equally satisfying.
4. Pleasurable techniques
Each spouse desires to satisfy their spouse sexually, yet may feel inadequate because they may lack the practical know-how. As a counselor, I usually suggest married spouses begin with just stimulating the erogenous zones of the body – the genitals and breasts, and then begin communicating what is pleasurable. Find some resources to educate yourself on the practice of lovemaking, and implement them.
Communication is simply talking about everything that makes sex better. Ambience, places, technique, and frequency are good ideas to begin to discuss with your spouse. Your spouse cannot please you sexually if he/she is unaware of your preferences. You and your spouse can become the best sex coaches for your marriage if you are willing to communicate your sexual needs and desires.
What about you? Are you experiencing great sex as a Christian married couple? Perhaps you need to find some time to have sex. Or maybe you need to get some valuable resources to educate yourself on better techniques to satisfy you spouse. Are you rediscovering your spouse? Remember, God desires sex for married couples to not be good, but great!